When I’m feeling lost, broken or just missing my baby girl so much I can’t breathe, I try to remember something good.
Something good like this…
The speech her sister Isabelle wrote a couple days before Hailey’s service:
“Hailey was a special person. She was sweet, funny, nice, and saw the best in everyone. Hailey was the best friend or family member anyone could ever have. We have to hope that God took her away for a good reason. Because maybe something worse could have happened in the future. Hailey had a big heart and no one will forget that. We have to keep her memories alive as long as we live. And one day I promise we will see her again. Hailey & Kayla are and always be my best friends forever.
My family was the best thing that ever happened to me. And they are the loves of my life. And I realize now that instead of fighting and arguing with each other, we have to be loving and caring and cherish every moment that we spent alive. I know that it is going to be hard to go on with our lives but we will have to be strong. Because Hailey is watching over us and she does not want to see us sad because if we do then she will get sad.
And we have to remember that Hailey is a beautiful angel and that she is no longer in pain and that she is having fun. There were so many things she wanted to do in life but now she can do it in heaven. We have to look for signs that she is there. And that Hailey is in a better place now.”
Admittedly, much of that day, like most days after, are sort of a blur to me.
But the image of my nine year old daughter reading this speech out loud, in front of all our loved ones, on a bright sunny day, will never leave me. An image… that will gladly replace others just a couple weeks prior.
Not many spoke that day, which is okay. Which made what she did & said even more amazing. I couldn’t of been prouder of our little girl, standing there showing such amazing courage, love & strength.
Heartbreaking & beautiful, I will always remember her words. I will always be proud. The resilience & love they continue to show still amazes me. It teaches & guides me. It gets me through each day. The lesson of a lifetime…
It’s my something good.
Bella wrote this note to her sister just a few hours after Hailey passed away, using my cell phone:
The first time I read it, it broke my heart yet again, into a million little pieces. But I saved it anyway. To this day, it’s still there.
Every now & then I will look at it & remember. Remember the pain & the heartache. But the love too. The sweet words from one sister & best friend to another.
It also encouraged me to start writing letters to Hailey & I have been doing so for over a year now.
How do we stop communicating to our loved ones after death?
We can’t. Just like we can’t stop loving them…
They are always with us, in our thoughts & prayers. Embedded in our hearts & our DNA.
We always remember.